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The affirmations a person uses depend on many factors. What is the person trying to accomplish? Where is he or she now in relation to that goal or dream? What is their belief factor? Is he or she aspiring to something big or just looking for incremental improvement?

One of the biggest knocks critics have against affirmations is that they encourage unrealistic thinking.

It is ridiculous, they say, to encourage a sixth grader who can barely play ?Hot Crossed Buns? on the saxophone to use an affirmation like, ?I am a world-class saxophone player?. That?s just delusional, they argue, to have a child believing something so out of touch with reality.

I absolutely agree!

?What,? you say, ?I thought you were in the business of promoting affirmations and encouraging others to follow their dreams?? I am. And, I still agree with those critics. Oh, I believe emphatically that affirmations are for everyone, but I do not believe every affirmation is for every person.

Yes. The critics are correct. This affirmation is completely unrealistic for any sixth grader who believes it is unrealistic.

They are also correct that a smart sixth grader is probably going to doubt the affirmation at some point. Sooner or later the sixth grader using this affirmation may have the thought, ?I can?t even play ?Hot Crossed Buns?. I?m not a world class saxophone player.?

These two pieces of information do not match up. The sixth grader, like most human beings, will search for a way to make the ideas congruent. When this happens it is decision time for the sixth grader and his or her dream of being a world-class saxophonist. Whether they know it or not the critics are citing and the sixth grader is experiencing a well-known psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance.

This theory states that when we hold two incongruent pieces of knowledge in our minds there is a very strong psychological impulse to bring the two conflicting thoughts into agreement. The idea being that our sixth grader cannot hold the thought, ?I can?t even play ?Hot Crossed Buns?,? in his or her mind while at the same time holding the idea, ?I am a world class saxophone player.?

The classic example is the mother on the news who cannot reconcile the baby she brought into the world with the possibility that he may have committed a crime. So, she believes in his innocence even against overwhelming evidence.

Now, here is where the critics? logic fails. They assume, I suppose, that the only option for this newly self-aware sixth grader is to stop using this unrealistic affirmation and stop pursuing such lofty and unrealistic dreams. Basically, ?Give it up, kid, there?s no chance.?

The cognitive dissonance theorists tell us that there are actually three options (besides ?getting real?) open to resolve this dilemma.

Change beliefs ? the sixth grader can change one or both beliefs to be more in line. ?I know I?m not a world-class saxophonist right now, but I can be someday.? He or she admits the first fact and changes the condition for the second to bring them into congruence.

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