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By: Clive Hook
Behaviour is what you say or do. It's not about what you think or feel. As human beings we have a unique brain structure which allows us to separate our behaviour from our feelings. We can act brave when we're actually frightened. We can calmly explain our position on something even when we're furious. We can, though, only do these things if we make a conscious decision to hide our true feelings or emotions and use behaviour to achieve a particular objective. If we are ruled by our emotions then we risk doing the wrong thing and damaging our chances of getting the result we want and the relationship with others.
Meetings and interactions at work are one of the places where this behavioural skill is most important and relevant. Behavioural intelligence or managing behaviour is about raising awareness, so that you notice your own and others' behaviour, and make conscious decisions about it.
I rate Behavioural Intelligence as one of the most important things for anyone to learn in business. I use a model developed from Neil Rackham's Behavioural Analysis to help leaders, managers, facilitators and negotiators improve their behavioural skills.
There are four classes of behaviour, and you need to learn to spot these in yourself and others. Each of these behavioural classes has its purpose, and each breaks down into four or fewer behaviours.
Initiating - Getting things moving, or keeping things moving Making Proposals - Putting forward a suggestion for consideration Seeking Proposals - Encouraging others to put forward suggestions Building - Extending or developing another's proposal Directing - Issuing an instruction to one or more members of the group
Clarifying - Increasing your own or others' understanding Giving Information - Providing facts, data or opinions to others Seeking Information - Seeking facts, data, opinions from others Summarising - Restating in brief, the content of previous discussions Testing Understanding - Establishing whether or not something is understood
Reacting - Evaluating others' contributions and responding Disclosing - Describing your own feelings in relation to a proposal or the situation Supporting - Declaring agreement or support for another's proposals or thinking Disagreeing - Stating disagreement or objection to another's proposals or thinking Attack/Defend - Attacking others or defensively strengthening your position with "put downs".
Controlling - Managing the flow of information Bringing In - Inviting contributions from others who are not actively participating Shutting Out - Excluding others, or reducing their opportunity to contribute
These are not skills, you can already do them. The skill is in noticing what's needed and consciously deciding to do a specific behaviour from the list not just reacting from your gut or letting your emotions take over. Copy the list of behaviours and check which ones happen most or least in your meetings. With this information you'll be ready to move to the next step - to skilfully choose the right behaviour at the right time. Look for more articles and items about Behavioural Intelligence to deepen your understanding, learning and development.
Author Resource:->??Clive is co-owner of ClearWorth , a company specialising in bespoke manager, leader and team development for major organisations around the world. Clive lives in the UK and France and works all over the world in 26 countries in the last 10 years from Ohio to Oman, London to Lagos, Surrey to Syria. Clive thinks, teaches and writes about negotiation, influence, interpersonal relationships and cross cultural communication.
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