Saturday, June 25, 2011

Have You Been Living In A Fantasy? Loving Relationships Aren't ...

A marriage is a totally unique relationship that we humans experience. You virtually become one with another man or woman and share just about everything together. It truly is a partnership where two individuals love, respect, value, and work through differences.

What it is not however, is a conflict-free relationship. It is almost certain that your spouse will have annoying habits or do things that aggravate you. You won?t find a mate that is perfect. None of us are. We need to realize this and not expect perfection from our spouse.

That causes outlandish expectations that ultimately result in disappointment. Just as you do not want your spouse to have unrealistic expectations of you, you don?t need to have unrealistic expectations of him or her.

We also must accept that we cannot alter or fix our spouses. We can only change our expectations and ourselves. We can search for ways to be a much better spouse. And it just might be appreciated and also reciprocated.

But even if it is not, it is going to make you a better person and enhance your relationship whenever you release your spouse from trying to fix him or change him. Adore him and focus not on his imperfections. You married his imperfections and you married his good qualities too. Don?t forget that.

A lot of men and women go into marriage thinking, ?This person or this marriage is going to make me happy.? But that is not true, we must find that joy and contentment as people and allow our marriage to be the added bonus. We need to release our spouse from the responsibility of making us happy. It is not their job. Our spouses aren?t equipped to meet all of our requirements.

No woman or man is. Sure they can and should meet some of our relationship needs, but marriage just isn?t intended to complete us ? just compliment us.

It is common to occasionally forget to give ourselves in a relationship. Most likely, we would see dramatic developments in marriage (and all relationships) if we possessed the mindset of ?What can I do for my partner? How can I nurture our relationship??

In a proper relationship, having this mindset is contagious too. When your spouse sees you working on meeting his needs and giving of yourself, most likely he?ll want to reciprocate out of gratitude and love.

What exactly is the purpose of marriage then? The purpose of marriage is to love one another, to cherish one another, to encourage one another, to be there for one another in sickness and in health, during the good times and also the bad. Sound familiar?

Perhaps reciting those marriage vows privately or publicly is not a bad concept. They have meaning and they have power when they are internalized, believed and lived out.

And do not forget marriage enables us to have and develop the family we dreamed about. The white picket fence life may possibly be a bit of a fairy tale, but happily-ever after does not have to be.

Even so, you can spice it up a bit by being flirtatious with one another. Have you forgotten how to approach women? Get some advice on how to approach a woman and then excite your partner with words. Numerous dating and relationship internet sites can provide great suggestions on how to approach women.


Source: http://loving-relationships.ca/2440/have-you-been-living-in-a-fantasy-loving-relationships-arent-always-peaceful/

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